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Renée Strauss, of
Renée Strauss for the Bride in Beverly Hills,
is the wedding industry expert. Please feel free to
submit any questions you may have in the planning of
your big day. To send a question for the Ask Renée column or for any other correspondence you would like Renée to respond to: rstrauss@reneestrauss.com
Help! I feel I was MISLED!
I'm hoping you can give me some advice on a serious wedding gown crisis. I ordered a Maggie Sottero bridal gown from a boutique in the last week of March and it was suppose to arrive in July. However, when I called to confirm when the dress would be in so I could begin matching the red sequins on the dress to my bridemaids dresses, they told me it was backordered and wouldn't arrive until two weeks before my October wedding. My entire wedding is dependent on the color of that dress.
First it will do you well to speak with the store manager from where you purchased your wedding gown.
Let them know you need some help and advice.
Explain to her/him that you understood your gown would arrive in July. The current update is that you have been given an October delivery date. Ask that the manufacturer send the store a packet of the red sequins so that you will not be in such a dilemma in terms of matching all the things you need to match.
This should be no problem. The manufacturer is in Utah and they always have additional samples of colors and beading to accommodate their customers.
Then you need to discuss with the manager the issue regarding the change you wanted to make on the dress after arrival. You must explain that you were led to believe a removal of a panel would not be a problem, and now you have been informed that it is an integral part of the design and structure of the garment. This leaves you concerned as you had a certain look in mind and now you have to re-think your entire plan. Perhaps if a seamstress looks at the original sample of the gown you purchased they can suggest an idea that will satisfy you and still be in the realm of reason.
If the store has no seamstress on staff, ask the manager if you can take the sample to someone to check what it will take to get your job done. If you only remove the gown from the premises for a few hours - they should have no objections.
Stores typically put your wedding date on their contract and they stick to the wedding date as the date they are required to produce an altered and finished garment. You need to get management to commit to the fact that they will uphold their part of the contract and have your gown done to your satisfaction in time - whether it comes in 2 weeks prior to the wedding or 2 months prior.
Maggie Sottero dresses are imported from the far east. They are not made to order. They produce in huge quantity. It is possible that the dress you purchased is not shipped in a large quantity because of the specific color you ordered. However, it is likely that other dresses such as yours are coming in that have been promised to other stores. Ask the manager whether they can call the company and request that perhaps a dress for another store that has a wear date in January or later would be willing to take a later delivery and you could get your gown first. Or perhaps another store is a slow pay and the company can ship your dress to the store you purchased from first - hopefully considering they are a good paying account.
If you give the store all these options and they cannot commit to helping you in a timely and expert fashion...then let them know you need another gown option for emergency sake. Perhaps another dress they can get for you sooner at a discounted price... Anything to give you peace of mind. Perhaps as you suggested in your last paragraph - they can speak with Maggie Sottero and find out what other styles in your size are coming in sooner and whether they would have the good graces to assist you.
I personally would guarantee my bride that even if the dress came in 2 weeks before the wedding - we would stay up all night just like Santa's elves at Christmas in order to make sure she was happy.
I am hopeful that with a rational approach to the situation, there will be an equitable solution.
My boyfriend
and I just got engaged. What should I do first?
Congratulations! The next few months will probably be
both exciting and overwhelming. The time will fly, so
the best advice is to enjoy, but be organized. The date,
location and time of day the wedding will take place,
takes precedence over all other details. These decisions
will help create the ambiance and set the mood for the
entire event. After this major decision has been determined,
it's time to find the perfect gown! Any of our experienced
consultants will be happy to set up an appointment to
show you beautiful wedding dresses.
My wedding is planned for a year from now. When should I start shopping?
This is the number one question I receive. Depending on the style wedding that you are having, you should allow yourself approximately one year to plan. This is not to say that a perfect wedding cannot be pulled together in much less time. I recommend purchasing some bridal magazines and getting ideas. Most bridal salons require appointments. The consultant assigned to assist you should highlight several different styles. Through this process you will be able to ascertain the style most suited to you. Some salons feature Trunk Shows (see What is a Trunk Show?) or special events that will allow you to see gowns apart from their regular inventory. Ask the manager for more information regarding these special events. Manufacturers traditionally ship within 16 - 24 weeks once the order has been placed. However, there are some companies that take considerably longer. Ultimately a wedding gown is like a man. Once you fall in love, stop looking!
A Trunk Show is a designated period of time when a designer or designer's representative
is invited into the salon. The entire line of gowns produced
for the season is shipped in, as well. This gives the
consumer a unique opportunity to view the full collection.
Most salons only purchase a selected few from the season's
designs to highlight in their shop. The pressure is on
to make a decision and purchase during this special period,
usually 2-5 days. This can be difficult for some brides-to-be.
A positive thinker will know when it is meant to be and
go with the flow of the excitement an opportunity like
this offers.
I found the perfect gown. The bridal consultant gave me a picture of the gown which I sent to my mom back east. She hates it! What do I do?
How frustrated you must feel. Imagine your mom's frustration, as well! It could be mom's feeling left out because she wasn't with you when choosing the gown for one of the happiest days of your life! Moms can never see just one gown. Perhaps you could send several tear sheets of gowns you like to your mom, starring the one(s) you like best, explaining why. She may be more receptive. Another option may be either flying to the city in which your mom lives, or mom coming to you, and shopping together. Expensive, perhaps, but it will be a cherished experience for you.
Why do bridal magazines advertise beautiful dresses with store names listed, yet when we go to actually see and try them on, the stores tell us they do not have them?
You have a valid complaint! I will try to enlighten you as to the advertising world that is so foreign to most consumers. Magazines lay out their pages of advertising and editorial several months before they are available for purchase on the stands or subscriptions. Sometimes up to four months before the date of issue. When store listings are compiled, they are sometimes compiled by the designers in the HOPE that the store they list will actually BUY the gowns they list them for. In reality, many times the stores decide NOT TO BUY what they have been listed for. This inevitably confuses and frustrates the consumer. Other times, the dresses are advertised long before the factory actually puts the garment into production, thereby creating an even greater lag from the time of advertisement to the time of delivery of the sample into the retail store. It is best to CALL FIRST, prior to making your trip. A fine salon will put you on a list of brides to call when dresses finally arrive.
I recently tried on a dress that is made of silk satin, a fabric I adore. I noticed that it has quite a bit of bubbling on the front center bodice and it bothers me enough to hesitate in buying it. Can anything be done?
I believe the answer is yes. Most couture gowns are made with several layers in the bodice: the outer fabric, an interfacing and a lining; sometimes even another layer. It sounds to me as though the interfacing was not pressed correctly when it was assembled. Just ask whether the salon can fix the problem or make a note of it when placing your order so that the manufacturer can be sure to pay close attention. If you are purchasing from a reputable store, there should be no problem. The store itself should be equipped to fix any problem.
I am so frustrated with the fact that the stores only have one sample size in each garment! What do we girls do that are either a size 8 or smaller, or a size 12 or bigger! Why can't they stock all sizes?
As a retailer that has been in the bridal business for twenty years, I too am frustrated by this. Due to my experience however, I have come to understand why. Let me try to briefly explain: Retailers buy sample dresses from manufacturers. The goal is to have as many samples as possible to give the consumer the best selection from which to choose. We pay for each and every dress you find on our selling floor. Each dress is available in sizes 2 through 24. If we were to stock each and every dress in each and every size and color selection offered from each and every manufacturer we want to feature, imagine the size stores we would need just for bridesmaid inventory! Think Costco! And do the math to imagine the expense! Therefore, the "first-cut" samples that the designers ship are usually sized in an 8, 10, or 12, depending on the part of the country the store is located. Tens on the West Coast, twelves in the South, eights on the East Coast. Generally tens or twelves in the Midwest. The color charts are sent along to alleviate having to stock each color sample. Whomever helps your party with the dresses should be well-informed and capable of assisting you in size selection. I really hope this helps you understand.
My gown is in, but my wedding isn't until three months from now. When should I start alterations?
You're better off waiting until approximately six to eight weeks prior to the wedding to begin alterations on your gown. Any fittings that take place prior to that time may be compromised due to a weight change that may occur. If you are on a plan, intentionally losing weight, consult the alterations manager of the salon from which you purchased your gown to decide whether you can actually wait until even closer to the wedding date before beginning alterations.
I've purchased the perfect gown. The headpiece seems so much more difficult! The headpieces that the bridal consultant showed me are so overwhelming. Suggestions?
Headpieces can certainly be overwhelming considering headwear is not a part of our current fashion. I believe the headpiece is the accessory item that completes the bridal ensemble. Jewelry, if you will. Some like simple jewelry, some like more fancy jewelry. Consider the style gown you've chosen, the way your hair feels the most comfortable and elegant. Ask the salon from which you purchased your gown if they are willing to lend you a couple of headpieces to try when you have your trial hair appointment. This should help make the selection an easier and more enjoyable process. Good luck!
Four out of six of my bridesmaids live all over the country. What is the best way to handle the order and make everyone happy at the same time?
Believe it or not, it is not unusual for bridesmaids to be spread out across the U.S. or even other countries. The rule of thumb is to order the bridesmaids dresses wherever the bride lives. The salon needs to provide you with size charts and order sheets for each attendant to fill out and return to you. I suggest that the order is presented to the salon with the deposits for all the bridesmaids at the same time. This will alleviate dye lot variations from garment to garment. Style choices can be difficult considering people are all shapes and sizes. You might take the most difficult shape and find a style to accommodate her, everyone else falling into place. Different styles of the same color may be something to consider, as well. It may be hard to please everyone. Remember, it is your wedding and it is a privilege to be asked to be a bridesmaid
How can I get 6 Bridesmaids all over the country to get measured for their dresses. Many shops will not measure and size bridesmaids if they are not buying their dress from that shop?
It is part of customer service for a store to take measurements whether or not they are selling the dress. When going to a store other than the one placing the order for you, is advisable to make sure your bridesmaids ask for MEASUREMENTS ONLY. DO NOT ASK TO BE SIZED! You should have been given size charts for the company that is producing your bridesmaid dresses by the store you are buying them from. It is with the store you are doing business that you should expect the service in determining final sizes.
I LOVED the Bride's Night of Make-Overs you hosted last month. It was a fabulous opportunity to get ideas and have fun with my bridal party. Have you referred the make-up artist and the hair-dresser for some time? I recently moved to L.A. and I am trying to find people I can rely on all the time.
Bravo! I am so glad you came to our show. OF COURSE I have known any hair and make up professionals we host for quite some time and I refer them with confidence. You had a rare opportunity of having sessions with them at no charge to you, so that is even a better barometer for you to go by. Any time you need anything, all our staff is ready to be of service to you. Congratulations!
When shopping for my wedding gown, the consultant recommended a size ten, and I usually wear a size six to eight. Do wedding gowns really run small or does the shop want to make money on alterations?
It's true: Wedding gowns run small. Many wedding gown designers have not updated their size charts to correspond with changing physiques and psyches of today's consumer. At the time of purchase, the consultant should show you a size chart that is designated for the manufacturer of the gown you select. You must select the size along with the guidance of the consultant. A price list for alterations should also be provided at the time of purchase. I've never known a bridal salon to make money on alterations. Most will happily refer you to an outside company rather than do the alterations in-house. The overhead of a retail store is exorbitant and the alterations departments, in most, barely cover their own expenses.
I have been shopping and I have been in your salon. It is beautiful and not anywhere as intimidating as I had imagined it might be. I am in love with one of your dresses that is not white or ivory...It is a sort of rum pink and it is gorgeous! My Mother-in Law to be has made a comment that she hopes I wear white, a tradition in her family. How do I get out of this graciously? My fiancé is on the fence and won't take sides. Help!
Family politics, here we go! The wedding day is really a celebration of the commitment you have made with your fiancé, and the fact that you are announcing this commitment publicly. In other words, you two are the guests of honor. This said, we cannot discount the fact that weddings are a tradition in the history of mankind for generations. Feelings and respect are part of our culture, but so is communication. Sit down and talk to your future Mother-in-Law. Explain to your future Mother-In-Law that your wedding day has been in your dreams for years and you want to feel as beautiful as everyone wants you to look. If you speak with your heart, you may find some empathy and understanding. One cannot shake a hand with a clenched fist and you may just be surprised at her understanding. Good Luck!
I am getting married for the second time and I have teenage children. As much as my sons seem to be happy for me, my fourteen-year-old daughter despises me for it and has no qualms about showing her feelings. She won't go shopping for a dress to wear and I want her to warm up to the idea and know I want her to look her best that day. Do you have any suggestions?
Yes, I really do understand...This is a tough one...May I suggest you take your daughter to a bridal shop that has some young women working the department? Call them in advance and let them have a little idea of what you are trying to do. Tell your daughter that it means so much to you to have her participate in your special day, and that you are really willing to let her have a chance to find a dress she loves...If she hears your sincerity and knows you are involving her because you love HER, not just to make the day go smoothly, she may soften up a bit. Call me if you want to discuss this further. 310-657-1700.
I am getting married for the second time and we have decided to elope. I have a six-year-old son and I am inclined to bring him along. What do you think?
Absolutely NOT! Your six year old will not be the center of attention on your get-away and you aren't making a family trip to Disneyland! If you want to celebrate with family and friends, then have a party when you get back. Don't forget you still need a pretty dress!
I purchased my wedding gown from you last year and everyone is still talking about how beautiful it was! Now it's my sister's turn. I'm arranging a Bridal Trivia presentation for her bridal shower. The one question I couldn't find the answer to is why do people prefer June weddings?
Thank you for your note. We'd love to have a photo from your wedding for our keepsake
book! The belief that June is the happiest month for marriage
goes back to the days of ancient Rome. Juno, wife of Jupiter,
patroness of the young, and goddess of marriage...was
especially honored during the month named after her. The
Romans felt that prosperity came to the man and happiness
to the maiden married during that time.
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